Why this matters
Emotions and feelings are a part of our daily experience. Your emotions shift countless times a day in response to various situations. Several factors inform how you feel as your emotions subside.
Feelings versus emotions
Many people use the terms “feeling” and “emotion” interchangeably. While they have similarities, there’s a distinct difference between feelings and emotions. Emotions are physical, immediate reactions like fear and joy (Damasio, 2003).
Feelings come from how we interpret those emotions consciously. They’re influenced by personal experiences, beliefs, memories – essentially our individual perspective of reality. Feelings come from how we think about our situations.
Our intention here is to help you describe feelings and emotions more accurately so you’re neither minimizing nor overstating what you’re experiencing.
We know thoughts impact our feelings, and words impact our thoughts. The words you choose to label your experiences can impact the intensity of your feelings. Having a large vocabulary can help you:
- Identify your feelings as you reflect on your emotions
- Communicate your feelings to others
- Separate serious problems from manageable problems
For example, try saying to yourself, “I’m terrified about the meeting”. Now try, “I’m uneasy about the meeting”. Feel the difference? Having a large vocabulary helps prevent you from overreacting to stressful events. Generally, emotions are more intense than feelings.
Explore and reflect
Feeling angry
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly angry, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Belligerent, Bitter, Enraged, Fuming, Furious, Infuriated, Outraged, Provoked, Seething, Storming
Moderate
Annoyed, Crabby, Cranky, Grouchy, Hostile, Ill-tempered, Offended, Resentful, Sore, Testy, Ticked off
Mild
Bugged, Irritated, Dismayed, Impatient, Irked, Uptight
Feeling afraid
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly afraid, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Desperate, Distressed, Frightened, Horrified, Intimidated, Panicky, Paralyzed, Petrified, Shocked, Terrified
Moderate
Alarmed, Awkward, Defensive, Fearful, Fidgety, Jumpy, Nervous, Restless, Scared, Shaky, Tense, Threatened, Troubled
Mild
Antsy, Anxious, Careful, Cautious, Shy, Timid, Uneasy, Unsure, Watchful, Worried
Feeling sad
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly sad, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Alienated, Beaten down, Depressed, Dismal, Empty, Gloomy, Grieved, Grim, Hopeless, In despair
Moderate
Awful, Blue, Discouraged, Distressed, Fed up, Lost, Miserable, Regretful, Sorrowful, Tearful, Upset, Weepy
Mild
Blah, Disappointed, Down, Glum, In a funk, Low, Moody, Somber, Uncomfortable, Unhappy
Learn about the responses to Loss and grief and ways you can cope after the death of a loved one or another significant loss.
Feeling confused
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly confused, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Baffled, Chaotic, Flustered, Rattled, Reeling, Shocked, Shook up, Speechless, Startled, Stumped, Stunned, Thrown
Moderate
Puzzled, Blurred, Disorganized, Dizzy, Foggy, Frozen, Frustrated, Mistaken, Misunderstood, Mixed up, Troubled
Mild
Distracted, Uncertain, Uncomfortable, Undecided, Unsettled, Unsure
Feeling hurt
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly hurt, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Abused, Crushed, Damaged, Destroyed, Devastated, Disgraced, Humiliated, Mocked, Punished, Rejected, Ridiculed, Ruined
Moderate
Criticized, Devalued, Discredited, Distressed, Miffed, Mistreated, Resentful, Troubled
Mild
Annoyed, Let down, Minimized, Neglected, Put down, Unhappy, Used
Feeling lonely
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly lonely, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Abandoned, Cut off, Deserted, Empty, Oppressed, Outcast, Rejected, Shunned
Moderate
Alienated, Alone, Apart, Cheerless, Excluded, Isolated, Left out, Neglected
Mild
Detached, Discouraged, Distant, Separate, Withdrawn
Feeling guilty or ashamed
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly guilty or ashamed, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Disgraced, Exposed, Humiliated, Mortified, Shamed
Moderate
Apologetic, Judged, Regretful, Shamefaced, Sorrowful
Mild
Bashful, Blushing, Embarrassed, Flustered, Hesitant, Humble, Sorry
Feeling happy
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly happy, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Delighted, Ecstatic, Energetic, Enthusiastic, Excited, Exhilarated, Overjoyed, Thrilled
Moderate
Cheerful, Happy, In high spirits, Light-hearted, Lively, Up
Mild
Contented, Fine, Glad, Pleasant, Pleased, Satisfied, Serene
Feeling grateful
When you're feeling intensely, moderately or mildly grateful, you might describe yourself as:
Intense
Adoring, Passionate, Committed, Devoted, Idolizing, Wild about
Moderate
Admiring, Affectionate, Attached, Fond of, Loving, Tender, Trusting, Warm-hearted
Mild
Appreciative, Considerate, Friendly, Interested in, Respectful
Take action
The next time you are feeling:
- Angry
- Afraid
- Sad
- Defeated
- Confused
- Hurt
- Lonely
- Guilty or ashamed
- Happy
- Grateful
Consider whether that feeling is intense, moderate or mild. Choose a different word that more accurately describes how you're feeling.
You can also use this approach when you're thinking about how someone else is reacting.
Additional resources
- Emotional intelligence for employees. Free activities to increase your ability to manage your reactions and control how you impact others. Building your emotional intelligence can help reduce stress.
- Worry myths. It’s rarely, if ever, helpful to worry. Learn fact from fiction when it comes to worry.