The following tips can help you make the discussion constructive and more likely to achieve a positive outcome:
- Prepare for a difficult conversation: Reflect on your assumptions and intentions before you begin. See Preparing for a difficult conversation for more information.
- Give the employee a heads-up: Inform the employee in advance that you want to discuss something important. Schedule the conversation at an appropriate time, but not too far in advance. More than a day or two may lead to unnecessary stress and worry.
- Hold the conversation in a private area: Privacy is very important when having difficult discussions. Select a quiet and private place where you won’t be interrupted.
- Share your roles and responsibilities as well as those of the employee: Before starting your discussion, share how each of you will be able to fulfill your roles and responsibilities through this process. For example, if you have an employee struggling with deadlines and errors you might share that their roles and responsibilities include completing assignments on time and with minimal errors. You could then share that your role as a manager is to provide clear direction from the start and help address challenges and solve problems as needed. In doing this you show that you’re dealing with the problem together, which can help make the conversation less stressful and embarrassing.
- Express your goals to the employee: Start your discussion by sharing your goal for the meeting. Ensure your goals are work or task oriented, rather than related to the employee’s personality or character. For example, rather than sharing that your goal is that the employee “be less negative at meetings”, it’s best to share that the goal is to “have positive and productive meetings”. Meeting this goal may mean a change in the employee’s behaviour. They may be more committed to the solution if it is framed in a non-threatening way. The goals you set are meant to help you and the employee stay focused and productive.
- Inquire about the employee’s comfort level: Ask the employee if they’re comfortable talking about the issue at hand. You could encourage them to share their experiences, problems and feelings openly. Let them know that the content of your conversation will remain confidential.
- Encourage the employee to share: Invite the employee to share their point of view on the issue. Give the employee the chance to express concerns and ask if there are things bothering them. Hold off on commenting until they are done. This way you learn how they see the problem, and you can respond accordingly.
- Engage the employee in finding solutions: Collaborate with the employee in finding solutions. People may be more likely to make changes if they feel their point of view was heard and they were part of the decision-making.
- Actively listen and ask clarifying questions: Remain calm and listen to what the employee is saying. Let them know that you’re actively listening and understanding by making eye contact, nodding your head, and occasionally reflecting and sharing back what you’ve heard. Ask clarifying questions if you don’t completely understand the employee’s point of view. Learn more about Listening to understand.
- Focus on the behaviour and results, not the person: When describing the problem, stay neutral. Focus on the issue or inappropriate behaviour, rather than focusing on the person. Be specific and objective in describing the behaviour. Avoid making assumptions or laying blame, as this can make the employee defensive. For example, saying “Efficiency is important to keep our customers satisfied” is neutral feedback and can help avoid direct confrontation. Saying “Your inefficiency is affecting our customer satisfaction” attacks the employee and may be more likely to cause a heated discussion.
- Restate the goal and confirm next steps: At the end of the discussion, restate the goal clearly as it may have changed since the beginning of your conversation. Make sure you and the employee agree on how to achieve it. Offer to put the agreed-upon actions and timeline in writing for the employee to review. This can allow you both to have a shared understanding and provides an easy way to celebrate success or the need for further discussion.
- Thank the employee for participating: At the end of the conversation, thank the employee for participating in the discussion and for being open to resolving the problem. Express your confidence in their ability to make changes and your desire for them to succeed. Offer to help in any way that’s reasonable.
- Follow up on changes and progress: Follow up regularly after your discussion to ensure that what you agreed upon is being accomplished. It’s important to schedule feedback discussions to assess progress. Guide the employee with appropriate feedback. Don’t expect sudden changes; be patient and acknowledge achievements.