The accessible version of the Emotional triggers

Overview

In this module, you’ll learn how to recognize an emotional trigger, understand how they work, identify your own triggers and choose how you react.

To access the non-conforming version of this module, see Emotional triggers learning module. 

Below is the transcript for the Emotional triggers YouTube video.

Transcript

[Background music plays for the duration of the video.]

[Visual: Workplace Strategies for Mental Health, compliments of Canada Life logo fades in and then out.]

[Visual: Video of a woman is working on her laptop while her coworkers are working at a table behind her, talking and laughing about her. She looks upset.]

Everyone has emotional triggers. This is when certain situations, words, smells, places or behaviors bring up intense feelings without us knowing why. 

[Visual: Video of a man is standing in his backyard looking calm and holding a coffee. He takes a sip of coffee, closes his eyes and smiles.]

Often something reminds you of a past experience, and an emotion arises before we're even aware of the thought behind it. These are often linked to our past experiences and thoughts.

[Visual: Video of a woman at an office desk clearly stressed, with her hands on her temples.]

Knowing what your emotional triggers are, reflecting on your usual reaction to them and understanding the underlying thought or memory attached to the trigger can help you get a handle on your automatic reaction and to choose a more objective response.

When you take the time to do this work, and practice over time, you may find that you experience being triggered less often, and that your relationships improve.

[Visual: Video of a man in a suit talking angrily to a calm man beside him. The angry man is flailing his hands and getting close to the calm man.]

Most people assume the reaction is caused only by the situation in front of them. This is what happens when you don't recognize your triggered.

[Visual: Video of coworkers. One is angry and point to the other person who is visibly upset. They continue talking with some frustration.]

For example, if a friend asks, “Are you wearing that?” you may instantly feel insulted and defensive. Your reaction was triggered by memory of a parent who criticized your clothing as a teen. But your friend just wanted to know if you needed time to change. If you don't recognize this, you might assume your friend is being rude, which could negatively affect your mood and relationship.

[Visual: An illustration of a clipboard with a checklist is animated onto the screen and the words “Consider why?” fades in and then out]

Taking a moment to consider why you're being triggered can significantly improve your ability to choose your response.

[Visual: Video of a man dressed as a clown appears in front of a building. He is juggling.]

For example, if you react with fear when you see a clown, it may have little to do with the clown itself and more to do with past experiences of being frightened. As a child, your trigger thought might be “Clowns are scary.”

[Visual: An illustration of a lightbulb is animated onto the screen and the word “Reflect” fades in and then out]

When we reflect on these thoughts and consider if they're appropriate to the situation, it delays an automatic reaction that we might later regret.

[Visual: Video of a woman behind a window. She is looking out the window and is deep in thought. It looks like she is reflecting.]

If you don't recognize you’re triggered, you may believe the clown is actually a threat. Your fear response—fight, flight or freeze—could then take over. This reaction might be unnecessary or even embarrassing if you're at a child's birthday party.

[Visual: An illustration of a coaches playbook is animated onto the screen and the words “Choose how you respond” fades in and then out]

Instead of letting triggers control your reactions. You can learn to choose how you respond.

[Visual: Video of two individuals talking calmly in an office.]

If you can recognize that you've been triggered, understand what might have prompted it, and be aware of what might be your automatic reaction, you have now taken the necessary mental pause that will allow you to choose differently.

[Visual: Video of two individually talking calmly while walking through a park.]

This pause might help you avoid saying or doing something that could be harmful for you or others.

Although this takes effort at first, over time it can make a positive difference in your relationships and your life.

[Visual: The Workplace Strategies for Mental Health, Compliments of Canada Life logo animates in and out.]

[The music fades out.]

[Visual: In white writing on a teal background, the following message appears: “Search for other useful tips on the Workplace Strategies website. clwsmh.com/elearning.”

What are emotional triggers?

We’ve all been there. Someone is feeling sad, angry, anxious or fearful and we have a strong response of our own that doesn’t match the situation.

Maybe we feel uncomfortable, react inappropriately, or in a way that makes the situation worse. When triggered, emotional reactions can be difficult for us and for others. 

Sometimes, certain situations, words, smells, places or behaviors can bring up intense feelings without us knowing why. These are called emotional triggers. They are automatic responses linked to our past experiences and thoughts. Recognizing them helps us understand ourselves and others better. It also helps us respond in ways that align with our values and intention. 

What is an emotional trigger?

Words, situations, behaviors, or individuals that elicit an automatic emotional response.

Why do triggers happen?

Often they are caused, consciously or subconsciously, by our past experiences, thoughts, and memories.

How triggers work

The link between thoughts and emotions

Our emotions don’t come out of nowhere—they’re always influenced by our thoughts and past experiences. This influence can happen in a fraction of a second, without your conscious awareness that it happened.  

Often triggers activate emotions because they remind us of something we’ve experienced before. The stronger your feelings about the past experience, the stronger the trigger might be.

The process of an emotional trigger

1. A situation happens. Example: Someone remarks on a typo in your report during a meeting.
2. Your brain connects it to past experiences. Example: You remember feeling humiliated at school when you made a mistake in a class presentation.
3. You have an automatic thought. Example: “They think I’m stupid.”
4. You immediately experience an emotional trigger. Example: Defensiveness or frustration.
5. You respond to the emotional trigger rather than the situation. Example: Objectively it’s just a typo and not a big deal. But your reaction might include an elevated heart rate and tensing of muscles. Because of the trigger you might overreact by blaming others, justifying the error or lashing out.

Reflect

Think about a time you had a strong emotional reaction to a situation. What past experience might have triggered your response?

Identify your triggers

Our vulnerability to emotional triggers depends on our current situation. If we are tired, overwhelmed, hungry or angry about something else, we can be more vulnerable to being triggered.  

Different people also have different emotional triggers depending on their current state, thoughts and past experiences. What triggers you one day may not trigger you another day. What triggers one person may not affect another at all. When we identify that we are being triggered, we gain control over our reactions rather than letting emotions take over.

What triggers you?

• Blaming
  • Does being blamed make you feel defensive or angry? This may be an emotional trigger for you.  
    • For some people, being blamed is just an opportunity to consider the facts and reflect on whether they could have done something differently. It’s a recognition that others may blame us because of their own emotional triggers and that it isn’t actually personal.
• Being ignored
  • If being ignored makes you feel invisible or unimportant, it may be tied to a past experience.
    • For some people, being ignored would make them wonder if the other person is distracted or hurt by something in their lives, rather than assuming that this is intentionally meant to harm them.

More potential emotional triggers

Identify which of these behaviours are likely to trigger an emotional reaction for you: 

• Passive-aggression
• Whining  
• Crying
• Blaming 
• Criticizing or judging
• Frustration or irritation
• Worry or nervousness
• Anger
• Victim mentality
• Entitlement
• Aggression or hostility
• Always needing to please
• Silent treatment 
• Being ignored or not listened to
• Deceit or lying 
• Sadness or moping
• Unhappiness or misery
• Sarcasm 
• High-strung or intense  
• Arrogance
• Conceit
• Other

If your reaction to a behaviour is usually emotionally intense, that behaviour may be a trigger for you.

If you identify with most of these, you may be experiencing emotional exhaustion or burnout and could benefit from reaching out for help to improve your quality of life.

How do you react to your emotional triggers?

Once you know what might trigger you, the next step is understanding how you might react. Do you get defensive? Do you withdraw? Do you lash out? Recognizing patterns in your reactions helps you break the cycle and choose a response that serves you better.

Explore

Choose one of your common emotional triggers. Yes, most of us have more than one!

Think about your usual reaction to that trigger – anger, pity, sadness, shame, guilt, defensiveness, hostility, frustration, overwhelm, fear or something else.

Now list the thoughts and memories that could be related to that trigger. For example, “I often react with anger to passive-aggressive behaviour. The earliest memory I have of this reaction is with my father. I felt he was trying to manipulate me to conform to his standards, which I thought were flawed. I didn’t have any power or control to fight back as a child and grew to resent this behaviour."

The emotion that gets triggered could be:

• Anger. You feel it’s unfair, manipulative or disrespectful.
• Sadness. You feel you have lost something or someone.
• Guilt. You feel you should have done something differently.
• Joy. You feel pleasure, sometimes even in someone else’s misfortune.
• Shame. You feel that you are a bad or unworthy person.
• Humiliation. You feel unfairly judged by others.
• Fear. You feel that you’re not safe.

There are many more emotions that can be triggered. Emotions are neither positive or negative, although we might experience them as such. All emotions have wisdom and none of them should dictate our behaviours. This is much easier said than done. It takes a level of emotional intelligence to choose your behaviour when you’re emotionally triggered.  

Choosing your reaction when triggered

You can’t avoid emotional triggers, but you can change how you respond to them. Instead of reacting automatically, you can identify that you’ve been triggered, reflect and choose a reaction that aligns with how you want to handle the situation.

Steps to take when you're triggered:

1. Identify that you've been emotionally triggered. Pause and ask yourself: "Am I reacting more strongly than the situation requires?"
2. Consider any related thoughts or past experiences. What beliefs or memories might be connected to this trigger?
3. Intentionally choose your reaction. Take a moment to avoid an automatic reaction and instead choose what is most helpful to you in this moment.

Reflect

Think about a recent time you were triggered. How might you respond more effectively next time?

Knowledge check

See Responses below to see the answers to the following 2 questions.

• Why might emotional triggers cause strong reactions?
  • a. They remind us of past experiences.
  • b. They're a response to a negative situation.
  • c. They occur when we are in a bad mood.
  • d. They're caused by other people being rude.

• Being triggered directly causes how we react to a situation.
  • True
  • False

Responses

1. a. While any of these may contribute to an emotional trigger, the strong reaction happens because our beliefs or memories tie the experience to something in our past.
2. False. While you may not be able to choose your triggers, you can choose what you say and what you do in response to the situation. By identifying our triggers, understanding how our past experiences might influence them and deliberately choosing reactions that are more effective for us, we avoid emotions determining our behaviours. This takes effort, but over time, it gets easier.

Tip sheet and resources

• Emotional triggers webpage
• Emotional triggers microlearning module
• Emotional triggers infographic | PDF
• The function of emotions webpage
• Emotional intelligence for employees webpage
• For more Microlearning modules like this one

We welcome your feedback on this module or any of our resources. Please contact us with your suggestions.